seriously this happened:

Friends, today I got the most ridiculous page.

The zenith (nadir?) of inane has been reached. It was better than "80085" on the purely numeric pagers, and much more hilarious than "8==D" on the alpha-numerics.

(for those of you who don't dick around with the pager system, these are "boobs" and "cockandballs", respectively.)

But first - the necessary back story:

I've been taking care of this horse for about a week now who we'll call Adrian. Adrian colicked very badly and had surgery that mostly fixed his problem, but his surgeons only gave him about a 20% chance of making it. He is so far doing very well (knock wood). Adrian and I, we've spent hours and hours together. It is fairly accurate to say that I have spent this entire week nursing him in the ICU. I have drawn his blood, given him his drugs, walked him, stood him in ice, caught his urine for testing, and generally fussed over his every need.  At this point, I know the horse well.

So! I get a page to the front desk, which I answer.  I then have the following conversation with Sandy, the front desk person:

Alacrity: "Hey, it's me. What do you need?"

Sandy: "Alacrity, I need you to go check Adrian to see if he has testicles."

A: "...he doesn't."

S "No, I need you to actually go look at him."

A: "I promise he doesn't have testicles."

S: "Well, someone looked in his stall, thought he had testicles, and changed his file to show that he's a stallion in the computer system. But I'm confused, since he came in to be gelded (castrated) three years ago."

A: "He does not have testicles."

S: "Please just go look at him."

A: "You're seriously making me do this."

S: "Yes."

I checked. He's a gelding, doy. Surgery report from the castration is right there in the computer system.

WOW.