this is mildly horrifying:

I have a Tupperware container full of equine leg bones under my rolling kitchen-butcherblock-thing.
The bones make up a front leg and a hind leg, and they were taken from my surgery pony last winter after he was euthanized.

I'm soaking them in Dawn soap to remove the residual tissue so they can be dried and re-assembled into articulated limbs.


Yes, I would love to have a discussion with you about the moral/ethical implications of these statements, but first I would like to tell you about the incident with the Dawn soap.

Dawn soap is apparently the dish soap of choice for gradually removing tissue residue via soaking (according to our specimen preparator), so I've been soaking these bones in Dawn for quite some time.  The Dawn needs to be changed occasionally.

So! One day while at the grocery store, I bought the economy-size gallon jug of Dawn in hopes of getting around to changing the soap. I left the Dawn in the back of my car for oh, three months or so. This is a thing that happens - I start a task in some small way, and then I get sidetracked while it waits patiently for me to remember about it.

This gallon jug of Dawn somehow opened itself in the backseat of my car and slowly infiltrated large areas of my backseat unbeknownst to me until yesterday.  THAT must be why my car has been smelling faintly of artificial freshness.

cardiologist, about Olympic high diving:

"I can't imagine being a diver.  All those flips and somersaults?  I'd be catching my own vomit on the way down while simultaneously releasing a shart in my pants."

cardiologist, during a pleural tap:

"Why is this not working? I need some stopcockery going on here."

cardiologist, during an echocardiogram:

"Look, there's Fudgie the Whale!  See, Fudgie is the left atrium, and the left auricle is his tail. Oh, this does not look good. Fudgie is a fat Fudgie."

cardiologist, during rounds:

"You see these two curves here that make up this valve? I call them ass cheeks. You should have symmetrical ass cheeks."