quotes from the Narnia farm:

Okay, you may remember that I worked as a groom for a while before going to vet school. Let's call my bosses Susan (Olympic rider) and Jennifer (Susan's romantic/business partner), and their stable the Narnia farm.

Susan had a habit of stating exactly what she was thinking:

"TERRRRRRRRIBLE! That was TERRRRRRRRRIBLE!!!" - after a student jumped a fence

"A good horseman would have done it quickly, without making a big deal out of it!" - to me, after I adjusted a horse's flash noseband

"Yeah...you're a wimp."

"Do you speak English?"

Often ringside, publicly, at large horse shows:

"You're a paid professional! This isn't Pony Club!"

"MOTHERFUCKER! Get your act together!"

Actually, Jennifer had a similar habit:

"A fucking stallion? I mean, that's what he does, right?"

"You like my pants? The old Gap pants that come right up to your boobs?"

"Nothing like shoeing on a wet mat." - Farrier
"Yeah, but you've got these big nipples!" - Jennifer

"I'm not having all this sex in my barn! Tighten up!"

"I love a clean barn. It really turns me on."

"Just do my balls."

"It's a fucking blower! Excuse me."

"Fucking golf carts! Oh, hi Amanda."

Granted, we grooms said some strange things ourselves:

"It's like he shits through a cheese grater!"

"You can't polish a turd and make it a diamond."

"Please refrain from demolishing my face."

"C'mon, vacuum! Pull your shit together!"

"Hey, do you remember what to do when the walker says, 'FOOL' and stops working?"

"Is that a Sour Patch Kid on the windshield wiper? [it was, actually]"

"How much shit can you fit in the shitter...[singing]"

"I can't imagine what I would do if I got my pants torn off by a horse." - Alacrity
"I've gotten my pants torn off, but not by a horse." - Farrier

Ah, memories! Don't you want to work there? It was pretty awesome.




I am ever so excited. Now I am hurriedly packing everything in my apartment, discovering large numbers of dust bunnies, and preparing to move/start my internship. Um, what?

Everything is happening so quickly, but I haven't enormously panicked yet.

There have been some small panics:

1. While packing the kitchen, I discovered that all of my drinking glasses are now Mason jars, and Mason jars in large quantities are heavy. Now I have too many heavy, fragile, kitchen boxes.  Balls.

2. OH HEY I guess I should send in my now-finalized transcript to the licensing board so I can be licensed in my new state! That's important!

3. A group of industrious ants has been slowly devouring a lone, forgotten horse treat in the bottom of a basket on my dresser.

4. There are SO MANY SPIDERS in the loft. I am viscerally afraid of spiders.

This Autostraddle Guide to Moving has been enormously helpful.  Oh, moving. One day I may be skilled at moving. That day is not today!

excellent choice of words, coach:

My CrossFit buddy Millie is very short. Probably 4'10''. She is also awesome. She has bouncy brown curls, several kids, and a wicked sense of humor:

Millie is standing on a box under the pull-up rig. I'm waiting to use the same box.

Coach: "Millie! Why aren't you sharing your box!?"

Millie: "Oooo, my husband wouldn't like that very much."