calling for help is fun, redux:

I just finished another set of overnights, and on one of these overnights, I had a 75 kg dog come in with a gastric dilatation and volvulus (GDV). He was huge, he was adorable, and he needed to go to surgery immediately. So I consulted the on-call schedule, and called the resident on call:

Resident: "Hello?"

Alacrity: "Hey dude, I have a GDV."

Resident: "Okay...I'm in Texas."

(Note: our hospital is nowhere near Texas. It's approximately half the country away from Texas.)

Alacrity: "How are you on call if you're in Texas?"

Resident: "...I don't know."

Alacrity: "Okay, I'll call the other resident."

Now the other resident was not on call (duh), and was at a bar singing karaoke (like you do when you're not on call). So I called the surgeon who was working the OR today, and the guy who is technically on back-up call for the resident:

Surgeon: "Hello?"

Alacrity: "Hey, sorry to wake you up. I have a GDV, and James is in Texas. Would you mind coming in?"

Surgeon: (pause) "Well, who's the primary on-call?"

Alacrity: "James."

Surgeon: "How did this happen? How can James possibly be on call when he's in Texas?"

Alacrity: "I don't know."

Surgeon: "Well, this is just ridiculous! Why wasn't this taken care of ahead of time?"

Alacrity: "Look, man, I don't know. I just have this GDV that needs to go to surgery. Are you in, or do you want me to call someone else?"

Surgeon: (sigh) "Fine. I'll come in."