chief complaint: wtf?

We have this huge white board that charts all the cases that come through the ER. It shows the patient's name, chief complaint, and time of arrival (or ETA).

Mostly, chief complaints are logical problems such as "hit by car", "trouble breathing", or "collapse".

However...occasionally the chief complaints are more entertaining. My two recent favorites are "acting friendly" and "bit FedEx man, then hit in head with FedEx transponder".