Orientation
OMG HOLY SHIT I AM IN VET SCHOOOOOOOOL! Wow, look at us! We are the University of Awesome CVM Class of 2013! WOOOOO!!!! Look, the ornate U of A seal is on that lectern! Right there! At the front of this lecture hall! I’m sitting in a lecture hall! In vet school! WOOOOOO!!!!!!
OMG HOLY SHIT I AM IN VET SCHOOOOOOOOL! Wow, look at us! We are the University of Awesome CVM Class of 2013! WOOOOO!!!! Look, the ornate U of A seal is on that lectern! Right there! At the front of this lecture hall! I’m sitting in a lecture hall! In vet school! WOOOOOO!!!!!!
Anatomy
Day 1:
Today is the first day of class in Vet School. I must be an adult. None of this undergraduate tomfoolery -
I am a serious Vet Student now. I
will wear professional clothing. I
will take notes the Right Way. I
will write down everything the professor says. Verbatim.
Including the pauses (with estimated pause length in parentheses).
Day 1, later:
Shit, where is anatomy lab?
Day 3:
I don’t have enough highlighters in enough colors. Emergency Staples run!
Day 14:
My classmates must know more than I do. They must study harder. I knew it was a mistake to take that
shower the other day. I could have
been studying.
Day 37:
That fresh horse larynx smells really terrible.
Day 41:
Out of highlighters again.
Day 83:
Well, these cranial nerves and all their associated foramina
can just go fuck themselves.
Day 114:
Singing:
“Sar-tor-i-us!
(do do do do) Sar-tor-i-us! (do do do do)”
Week before the final:
Cricoarytenoideusdorsalislatissimusdorsiforamenovalepiamaterischialtuberosity
WHAT IF I DON’T PASS PANIC PANIC PANIC
(flapping around in a cloud of flashcards, carefully
highlighted handouts, and dirty mnemonics)
Microbiology
Day 1:
I wonder if I passed anatomy.
Day 33:
If I can master the intricate details of this impossibly
complex cellular signaling pathway, it will undoubtedly make me a better
veterinarian one day.
Neuroanatomy
Day 14:
Hey Dr. Professor, you remember how the first day of Neuro
you told us this material would be easy, and that it’s all just a bunch of hype
about this class being insanely hard?
This word “easy” – I do not think it means what you think it means.
Week before the final:
Classmate sends out a video allegedly explaining the
rubrospinal tract - Rick Rolls the entire listserv. Excellent.
Physiology
Day 1:
Oh, this won’t be so bad. The professor is making an analogy about grass clippings and
urine. He must have a sense of
humor.
Day 15:
Oh that’s what a
spleen does.
Day 39:
Why are kidneys so weird? And who is Henle?
Bacteriology, Virology, Immunology
Day 7:
Reciting:
“Respiratory tract bacterial pathogens of horses. Actinobacillus
equuli, Streptococcus equi ssp. equi,
Streptococcus equi ssp. zooepidemicus,
Rhodococcus equi, Mycoplasma felis…”
Day 34:
Classmate:
“Hey, so if rinderpest has just been eradicated, do we have
to know it for the final?”
Parasitology
Day 15:
I want to eat nothing but autoclaved sand.