1. "Emergency tech to reception for triage."
Someone is here to see us!
2. "Emergency tech to reception STAT." (bored voice)
The spaniel who ate a bag of chocolate chips is here, and he looks quite pleased with himself.
3. "Emergency tech to reception STAT!" (frantic voice)
Someone is here and they are dying. Or, the owner is hysterical.
4. "Emergency tech to reception STAT WITH A GURNEY!"
A large dog is here and is actively dying.
5. "Emergency tech to reception for a room 6 triage."
A potentially contagious patient is here.
6. "Emergency tech to reception for a triage. Emergency tech to reception for a second triage. Emergency tech to reception for...four triages."
Everyone has just arrived home from work. Or the football game ended. Also, the next hour or so is going to be awesome.
7. "Emergency tech to reception STAT! Emergency tech to reception for a second STAT! Emergency tech to reception STAT!"
Balls.
8. "Kennel assistant to reception for a cleanup."
Someone has pissed, vomited, or shat upon the floor.
9. "Any available emergency doctor to the ICU."
There is a case that needs a doctor and everyone is busy and/or hiding.
10. "Dr. Raeqe (criticalist) to the ICU, STAT!"
A patient is dying.
11. "Dr. Alacrity to the ICU, STAT!"
Specifically, my patient is dying.
12. "Any available emergency doctor, please call the front desk."
This could be one of three things:
- A person is calling for test results or a prescription.
- A person is calling about a recently discharged pet who is [doing something concerning]. Does the pet need to be rechecked right away?
- A person is calling because their pet ate [something strange] or is [doing something concerning]. Does the pet need to be seen?
13. "Any available intern, please call the front desk."
The front desk has a particularly onerous and/or menial task to assign.
14. "Dr. Alacrity, [your boss] is holding on line 1 for you."
Either:
1. SWEET! She is calling me back with advice on this diabetic dog with a septic abdomen and cancer who I just admitted.
2. I'm about to get scolded for an unknown mistake.