Exotics technician: "Why did you let a parrot walk all over your back?!? That was not a good idea!"
Alacrity: "Yes, correct. I couldn't catch him."
Exotics technician: "Well, who was helping you?"
Alacrity: "[The person helping me] couldn't catch him either."
Exotics technician: "So, what happened?"
Alacrity: "He totally dominated us for a while until we got him back in his carrier. He let me sort of examine him at one point. And he bit my finger."
Exotics technician: "He could have bitten your face! He could have broken your glasses! This is why we need a technician with exotics experience on overnights. Why was the bird here at midnight, anyway?"
Alacrity: "Well, his owner brought him in because he refused his evening cranberry."
Exotics technician: "I can't even."