Foreign bodies we have removed:
1. Rocks
2. Boxer shorts
3. Carpet
4. Basting brush
5. Almonds
6. Spatula
7. Plastic chew toy
8. Cloth chew toy
9. Nyla bone
10. Poop
11. Clam shells
12. Electrical cord
13. Nails
14. Hoof
15. Golf ball
16. Mitten
17. Sock
18. Electrical socket (?)
19. Sewing needle
20. Glove
21. Stocking
22. Ribbon
23. Small plastic hat
24. Light-up hedgehog squeeze toy
25. Baby sock
26. Rubber nipple for the top of a bottle
27. Stuffed antler
28. Clump of pine needles
29. Pieces of rubber floor mat
30. Terrycloth bathrobe sash
31. 22 (!) pacifiers
32. Plastic bottle cap
33. Necklace
34. Furry remnants (ew ew ew)
35. Sand (LOTS of sand)
Items that should not go in your pockets:
1. Uncapped pens
2. Needles
3. Slides
4. Fecal samples
5. Unlabeled tubes of blood/urine/effusion/whatever.
6. Anything your client hands you that came out of your patient.
It's suboptimal when:
1. I'm typing at a computer and someone leans over me, says, "Hey, can I just look something up?" and starts using the computer.
2. Owner drops off a dog for a blood glucose curve at 5:30 pm.
3. Swing shift doctor euthanizes a potential rabies suspect, leaves the pet in the fridge, completes no paperwork save for a handwritten note saying, "Intern to cut off head in the morning".
4. Front desk schedules my patient's recheck for a day that I am not in the hospital.
5. Front desk schedules my patient's recheck at 2pm on a day when I am working the overnight.
6. Patient is weighed in pounds, then the number of pounds is entered in the computer under kilograms (as in = as large as that cat is, he probs does not weigh 19.6 kilograms).
7. I have to retrieve the spleen from the dead Mastiff in the bottom of the chest freezer.
8. Client is wearing short shorts, penis and testicles fall out of leg opening at my eye level.
9. UO cat suddenly unblocks himself, pisses all over my face.