orthopedic surgeon, reviewing some radiographs:

surgeon: "Ah, I see the problem. His penis is in his knee."

car-freedom:

Hey there everyone! As you may remember, I sold my car when I moved to this new town to begin this odd internship. Here are some things that are pretty awesome about car-free living:

1. Parking is always convenient (bike racks are plentiful and usually covered).

2. My transportation costs are absurdly low:

Car-share membership - $35/year
Bike maintenance - ~$50/year
Gas - $0
Car insurance - $0
Car payment - $0
Car maintenance - $0
Parking (home) - $0
Hospital parking pass - $0

3. I get fresh air and exercise commuting to and from work, complete with the daily challenge of dodge-the-texting-undergrads on the bike path.

4. Biking uses renewable energy - it's powered by me!

5. It's fun to meet other cycling commuters at the bike rack. The seasoned bike folks provide a large amount of useful information, tips, and encouragement for new bike commuters.

adventures in imaging:

Student: "What should I write in the box for 'history' on the radiology submission form?"

Technician: "Fucked."

Student: "...uhhhh."

Alacrity: "...or, you could write 'six week history of intermittent lethargy, collapsed this morning, suspect large splenic mass'."

oh is that it?

Oncologist: "Why aren't you going to the conference, Alacrity?"

Alacrity: "I'm saving for [this other thing], and my budget is pretty tight right now."

Oncologist: "It's really not that expensive. You just have to be clever about it."

Alacrity:

thanks quickmeme.com

oh no please no:

Oncologist: "I consider myself a pearl diver."