that's a fantastic image:

ECC resident: "So [this cat] projectile vomited overnight."

Day ER doctor: "Okay."

ECC resident: "This was not a normal projectile vomit. It was a non-stop horrendous torrent of foul, brown liquid that gushed forth from the cat's mouth like a fire hose."

Day ER doctor: "Huh."

ECC resident: "I kept expecting it to stop, but it just continued. It shot right through the front of the cage. I was amazed at how much liquid came out of that cat."

internists are weird:

internist, on phone, after giving a history: "So, do you have any advice on this case?"

liver specialist: "That dog is sick."

internist: "Yes."

liver specialist: "That dog is going to die."

internist: "Probably."

liver specialist: "When that dog dies, I want you to send me a piece of its liver."

the 'a' and the 's' are next to each other:

Alacrity: "I'm glad [our electronic medical record system] has a spellcheck. Sending home discharge instructions with 'thrombocytopenis' in them would have been somewhat sub-optimal."

Oncologist: "Oh yeah...don't worry about that. You know how many times I've typed 'neutropenis'? Many times."

urine is important:

ECC resident: "You're flashing it? STAB ITS BLADDER."

ECC resident, on insulin:

"Pancreases are fairly rapid creatures."

rounds wisdom from an ER staff doctor:

"You can't rehydrate a peppercorn!"

pericardial tap instructions:

Alacrity:  "Hey, [ECC resident], would you be able to help me tap this dog's pericardial fluid please? I've never done it before."

ECC resident: "Sure. Do you know where you're going to stick your needle?"

Alacrity: "Nope."

ECC resident: "Take the elbow. Bend it. There."