Hiiii Everyone!
So I'm just finishing up with one of my surgery rotations. My internship is a rotating internship, which means I spend different weeks working in different parts of the hospital. I'm mostly on ER, occasionally on surgery, occasionally on medicine, and occasionally on elective time (which includes things like radiology, oncology, and ophthalmology).
Surgery is the scarier for me than ER. Actually, surgery is scarier for me than overnights. I think it's because there are SO MANY THINGS that can go wrong in surgery, and although this is also true on ER, it's far more frightening for me when I'm in the operating room. Dog with pericardial effusion? Okay, I'll tap that. Heart failure cat? Heeeeeey lasix, ghett-echo, and oxygen (and some other stuff later)! But if I'm holding the scalpel? Better not fuck up...
Also, I pass out sometimes. On my very first day of my very first surgical rotation of my internship, I passed out in a surgery on a dog with carpal valgus. The anesthetist's hands were full as I started to fall, so he caught me by lodging his foot between my ass cheeks, then guided my head to the ground once he freed his hands. Then I crawled out of the room so I wouldn't vomit in the orthopedic OR.
Anyway! The other day, I was draining this dog's abscess. This happened:
Surgeon #1: "Okay, I think you should lance the abscess like this, and then place the drain with the exit hole here, then tack it to the other side like this." [walks away]
Surgeon #2 strolls by, says: "Hey, why are you placing that drain like that? That's not how I do it. I would place the drain like this [shows me a different way], and tack it here like this."
Resident comes over, says: "Dude, why are you placing a drain? I would have just removed this whole abscess en bloc."
Resident #2 comes over, looks, says: "Ooooh. Oh, why are you doing that?"
Surgeon #1 returns: "Alacrity, why are you placing the drain that way? I would have used a much shorter piece, and placed it like this."
Alacrity: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Surgical technician, running anesthesia: "Baaaaaahahahaha that was awesome!"
Balls.
the current contents of my messenger bag:
1. Loaf of sourdough bread in paper bag.
2. Lecture handout on thyroid disorders.
3. Several receipts.
4. T-shirt.
5. Stethoscope.
6. Box of thank-you cards.
7. Plastic grocery bag.
8. Blue and purple bandanna.
9. Nail (the kind you hammer).
10. Pencil.
11. Several highlighters.
12. Pen.
13. Scrub cap.
14. Thompson's Small Animal Medical Differential Diagnosis.
15. Several cough drops.
16. Checkbook.
17. Stamps.
18. Unlabeled blood sample.
19. Chapstick.
20. Hemostats.
21. Wallet.
22. Pair of earrings.
23. W2.
24. Landlord's business card.
2. Lecture handout on thyroid disorders.
3. Several receipts.
4. T-shirt.
5. Stethoscope.
6. Box of thank-you cards.
7. Plastic grocery bag.
8. Blue and purple bandanna.
9. Nail (the kind you hammer).
10. Pencil.
11. Several highlighters.
12. Pen.
13. Scrub cap.
14. Thompson's Small Animal Medical Differential Diagnosis.
15. Several cough drops.
16. Checkbook.
17. Stamps.
18. Unlabeled blood sample.
19. Chapstick.
20. Hemostats.
21. Wallet.
22. Pair of earrings.
23. W2.
24. Landlord's business card.
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